1.  What is the most dangerous thing in a combat zone?
An officer with a map.

2.  Reporter: "How did you win the Distinguished Service Cross?"
Soldier: "I saved the lives of my entire regiment."
Reporter: "How?"
Soldier: "I shot the cook."

3. Drill Sergeant to Private: "When you're discharged from the Army, you'll probably wait for me to die, just to spit on my grave."
Private: "No, when I get out of the Army I never want to stand in line again."

4.  Why do short RTOs have long whips on their radios?
So someone can find them when they step in deep water.

5.  A retired sergeant was asked: “Well, how do you like civilian life?”
Sergeant: "Terrible! All these people around and nobody in charge!”

6.  What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
Call out, "B-52."

7.  How many enemy soldiers does it take to launch a Scud missile?
Two. One to launch it and one to watch CNN to see where it landed.

8.  A trooper asks a sergeant: "Did man really descend from a monkey?"
Sergeant: "Troopers did. But not sergeants."

9.  A general phones a colonel and asks "Do you have a few smart majors?"
Colonel:"Yes."
General: "Send them to me. I need furniture movers."

10.  Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Try again!"
Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"

What is a generation? The common meaning includes those who were born at about the same time you were. Another definition is the amount of time between when your parents were born and when you were born. So, usually a “generation gap” means about 20 to 30 years before or after our own age . . . though new generations seem to be popping up with much more frequency these days.

Several generations in recent history have been given unique monikers by authors, journalists, and historians:

Author Gertrude Stein used the term the “Lost Generation” to describe the generation of the 1880’s, who became young adults during World War I.

Those born between 1901-1924, who came of age during the Great Depression and World War II, are now usually referred to as the “Greatest Generation” from the title of Tom Brokaw's bestseller, The Greatest Generation. The devastation of the Great Depression made virtues of being level-headed, patriotic, and frugal. One of the proverbs that sprang from this period was “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” The Greatest Generation have been noted for their strong work ethic.

A 1951 Time magazine story described the “Silent Generation” as the group of Americans born roughly during the Great Depression, or from the mid-1920s-1940s.

The “Baby Boom Generation” were born during the post-World War II birth-rate boom. Controversy surrounds the precise beginning and ending dates that define the Baby Boom Generation. Boomer birthdates used to comprise the period following World War II, that is, 1946 through 1964, when U.S. birth rates began to decline . . .

. . . But then Jonathan Pontell coined the term “Generations Jones” to refer specifically to those born from about 1954-1965, a significant number of people. Whether you believe Generation Jones was part of the Baby Boom or came after it, Generation X is said to include those born in the mid-60s to the late-70s. Generation Y comprises those born from about 1980 to the early ‘90s. (They’re also called Millennials and Echo Boomers.)

“Generations” seem to be arriving faster and faster, as our societal pace continues to accelerate! And the exact dates of what comprises these newer generations are up for debate. Already being proposed are Generation Z (for obvious reasons), Generation I (for Internet), and . . .

“One thing is clear to me.  You can’t know everything you’d like to know.  You can’t do everything you’d like to do.  You can’t read everything you’d like to read.  You must hold onto some things and let go of others.  Learning to make that choice is one of the big lessons of life.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.”
Mark Twain

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
William James

“They say such nice things about people at funerals that it makes me sad to realize I’m going to miss mine by three or four days.”
Garrison Keillor

“You can go a long way with a smile.  You can go a lot further with a smile and a gun.”
Al Capone

“A little luck and a little government are necessary in life but only a fool trusts either of them.”
P. J. O’Rourke

It's true that some things in the military never change. Case in point, the age-old rivalry between the service branches. The Marine Corps pokes fun at the Air Force, the Air Force jeers at the Army, the Army mock the Navy, the Navy ridicules the Coast Guard, and the Coast Guard takes potshots at the SEALS (later realizing their mistake and deciding a better target would be those pesky E-2C Hawkeye pilots who keep trying to infiltrate . . . )

Life in the military is demanding, stressful, and, at times, dangerous, both for those who serve and for their families. As with any hardship, people use humor to cope, so it’s not surprising that much military humor comes straight from the battlefield. A classic example of this gallows humor is: “Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.”

While this joke almost certainly originated in the Second World War (if not earlier), the sentiment holds true today. Any G.I. in modern combat can identify with this joke, and realize there’s a seed of truth in it. They are still being shot at, officers are still a prime target, and there is an element of chance in your survival. In fact, other than changes in lingo and degree of sophistication (when was the last time Private SNAFU got used for booby trap instruction?), military humor doesn’t change much over time. Jokes have always come from the ranks and made their way up. And there have always been two versions of the same joke: the version you tell your buddies and the version you tell your mom.